There's a few reasons why I did not write for the pass few days.
First, I was sick. Bogged down by flu and its terrible as the farms here are starting to slash and burn. They dry air and the vast differences in day and night tempreature makes it worst.
Second, the more serious issue was I recently had a big fight with my wife and nearly flew back to Singapore. Actually this fight already started last time I came and it kinds of continue to roll... The thing is nowadays, I really can't control my temper as well as I used to be. Not sure why but I just get worked up very very easily. Might be the constant stress that I need to leave my baby every 3 months. And my wife's temper is just as bad as mine so its kind of getting out of hand....
I always think of the worst scenario which is I will leave her and get custody of my baby and return back to Singapore. But for the sake of my baby, I will try to endure and just wait.
Actually, I did predicted that the above scenario is possible due to our vast culture differences but I was a bit naive and a bit lost in love... hehehe... so now woke up from the dream and try to work it our liao.. Do I still love her?? I think I do and this "need" to think might means something is wrong.
I will try my best to save this relationship(as a friend of mine used to do before his divorce) and now the ball is in her hands... Just need to see how she plays it.
Might be shocking to most of you but I think I already hinted a bit in my old posts. I did not write much about her as I used to be.
Anyway, I still enjoy Thailand and Maesai and I think I will still retire here (my long term plan.) So now I still need to settle my wife and baby's status before I could do anything.
Best of the year for 2008.
5 comments:
婚姻真的不简单。也是个很大的学问。。要维持一段美好的婚姻，两方面真的要容忍，爱抚，宽容，体贴，谅解，爱等等。。但有时真的很辛苦。我觉得如有尽力，和爱。别的就要看对方了。嗨~~现代的婚姻真不简单。白头到老要有"Skill"
Mr Ba Long Long...过来人
Yes 婚姻真的不简单.
But remember 千年修得共枕棉.
Living together is never easy and it really take two hands to clap and two hands to fight.
err no offence to hh, but I really think "千年修得共枕棉" is bullshit.. 我觉得如有千年修得，应该是不会被婚姻纠缠。前世欠的。今世LL。哈哈哈，乐观对待。爱情容易，生活难。。。
（个人意见。如有得罪，Sorry....)
Mr Ba Long Long
Bro, for a start, go through your thots on what's the motivation that tend to trigger the "fights".
From all these recaps, you may be able to find a similar pattern of reasons, which always lead to "I", either it's from your wife's or your angle.
once this is identified, it'll be easier to use this reference point to talk to each other.
hope you dun mind, but it's absolutely ok to divorce, should things dun really work out between a couple, it's perfectly fine to part, in due respect of the love for the other party.
imagine spending a lifetime "fighting" compared to being good happy friends after parting.
without prejudice, the child is always a 3rd party in a marriage, and do not use the child to be the focal point to reconcile the relationship.
should the outcome be to part, then bring in the child's arrangement.
Bro, the above is really my own opinion, and not being personal.
but, afterall, sit down and have a good chat with your wife, without any others around to interrupt both your talk.
Agree to neobc said, 但两人如谈不到的话，找个Neutral第三者来聆听，也可能帮到忙。当你越怕失去她时，人往往会把对方抓的更紧。你越抓紧，东西越难Solve。不要被迷惑。如要个耳朵。可以打给我。。。
Mr Ba Long Long
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